law school prom is tomorrow.

First of all, I have to thank Kiah for her comment on my last crazy ass blog post. It really made me feel a lot better, and less alone. That being said, wow, that last post was crazed. I mean, I definitely had (and have) those feelings, but I probably shouldn't have unleashed them on the internet for all the world to see. Oh well, what's done is done.

This Friday night finds your blog-posting-with-semi-regularity-girl watching episodes of Intervention in bed while eating pringles and drinking diet root beer. My goodness, you say, don't you lead an exciting lifestyle! Why yes, I reply, it's truly a thrilling day in the life of yours truly. But seriously folks, I can't say I'd rather be outside when the weather is horrifying and my bed is so comfortable. Tomorrow is law school prom (Barrister's Ball) and although during the weeks leading up to it I have been excited, I've been overcome by an overwhelming feeling of apathy toward the whole charade. I am going, though, if only because I spent a fair amount of cash on the tickets, my dress, shoes, et cetera. It's open beer and wine bar, so if anything, I'll be able to drink away my ennui.

I rather like that phrase, drinking away my ennui. This will probably make me sound like an alcoholic, but I would say that drinking away ennui is probably what I do on most weekends. It's not that I don't enjoy my life, I do, but sometimes I just feel incredibly out of place and like I don't belong anywhere except alone in my apartment with Zach and Winston.

I had another interview on Thursday for a summer clerk position at a firm downtown. I think it went pretty well, so like the other one, it's now just a waiting game to see what happens. I'm not going to get my heart set on either one just in case I get rejected, which could very well happen.

I want to skate again. I figure skated competitively from when I was little until I graduated from high school, and I miss it terribly. The problem is, it is not exactly a cheap sport you can just do casually.

I'm going to end this blog post with a Henry Rollins quote:

“Life is full of choices, if you have the guts to go for it. That's why I get immediately bored with anyone's complaining about how boring their life is, or how bad their town is. Fucking leave and go somewhere else. Or don't.”

susan and her body image have issues.

I want to lose 15-20 pounds and it makes me feel like a total douchebag. What I mean is, the fact that I'm not happy with my size (which is relatively small) right now makes me feel like a douche because I know so many people have serious weight-related issues. However, the fact of the matter is that I have gained an undisclosed amount of weight since I was 18 (once again, I am a douche for not realizing that it is unrealistic to want to have the same body you had in high school), and I want it OFF. I'm used to being skinny, all my life people called me skinny. According to my mom, my body is making it difficult for me to lose weight because the stupid thing has become convinced that now is the time for me to be bearing children and it must hold on to extra weight in order to further that goal. Attention body, and reproductive organs : I do not want a child at this point in my life. I take a pill every day to make sure that very thing does not happen. I would appreciate it if you would stop hanging on to every ounce of fat that I ingest in hopes that I will magically become pregnant.

It should become clear to my three blog readers at this point that I have major, MAJOR self esteem issues. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life when I have felt pretty. I have always, always felt like the "ugly friend" in pretty much every friendship situation I've been in. Once again, douche, looks don't equal self worth and I should be proud of myself for x y and z accomplishments, but it's so fucking hard even when I have a wonderful boyfriend who tells me I look beautiful all the time.

Here's the problem. I love food. I love to cook, I love to eat. I do try to cook healthily most of the time, but sometimes I just want a goddamn cheeseburger, all right? I exercise fairly regularly and I try to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, but that stubborn goddamn weight refuses to come off. I realize I sound crazy and angry, but that's probably because I am. Zach loses weight if he eats healthy for one freaking day, and I can't seem to take any of it off no matter what.

Ugh, I sound whiny and horrible. I'm going to post this anyway, though. This is probably the most serious and introspective blog post I've ever written and it's a bit scary to post it.

just passing time before the big I.

By big I, I mean my first summer internship interview tomorrow morning. I finally heard back from a few places about summer internships (unpaid, of course) and I jumped at the chance to interview. I hope it's not a bad sign that the first one is taking place on April Fool's Day. The next interview is next Thursday and I can't decide whether I want the one I'm interviewing for tomorrow or the one I'm interviewing for next Thursday. I suppose it doesn't matter until one of them actually offers me a position, but I've still been thinking about it a lot. My suit is ready to go (as are my tights, underwear, bra, shirt, and shoes. I don't like to be running around in the morning looking for things when I'm already nervous enough).

I haven't updated this thing in FOREVER and I noticed today I had a new follower, so I didn't want to be one of those people who never update their blogs and just leave them dusty and alone for months. Lindsay has been trying to get me to make a tumblr but I don't understand them and I don't feel like acquiescing to another trend. Never mind the fact that the situation I just described is exactly how I became a Twitter fiend. The last thing I need is another distraction on the internet, especially with finals season looming and a paper due relatively soon.

In accordance with a few posts ago, here are some recipes I've made recently that were particularly good. This week, it has been all about comfort food. It's been raining and cold and pretty damn miserable, so I took full advantage in the kitchen:

Chicken and Biscuits

This was phenomenal. It was also incredibly easy since I already had leftover shredded up chicken from the night before.

Shepherd's Pie

I just made this a few hours ago for dinner tonight. It came out fabulously and was so simple. Sometimes, you just crave simple foods on a night like tonight.

I have to walk to my internship interview tomorrow. It's only a mile and ordinarily I would not mind it at all, but it's going to be raining and I'm going to be sad and damp. I just have to make sure I bring my ipod to listen to motivational tunes the entire way. I'm thinking Eye of the Tiger and The Final Countdown will definitely be making an appearance.

Man, did I totally forget to post about my ides of March fiasco? THe last time I posted it was February 28, so I must have been too traumatized at the time to post. On March 15, the infamous ides of March that the soothsayer told Caesar to beware, I got five emails from Paypal. They were all receipts for my "recent $200 purchase to Tagged, Inc.". Well, shit. That's $1000 paid to some company I've never heard of on my credit card that's linked to my PayPal account. I immediately notified PayPal that all five charges were DEFINITELY not me and were absolutely fraudulent, and then I called my credit card company in a panic. The very nice woman on the other line assured me that everything would be fine as long as I signed the affidavit they would mail me, and she also closed that credit account so nefarious people could access it no longer. All, it appeared, was well. Until I was sitting on my couch and heard..drip...drip...drip. I start to look for its source and its a light fixture in my hallway that is dripping for no apparent reason. I live in an apartment building and am on the sixth of nine floors. I called our maintenance staff and they looked into the light and asked the woman above me on the seventh floor if she had any issues, but none so far.

Since then, I've mailed the affidavit and have been told by PayPal that they have resolved my problem and have transferred all the money back to my credit card. The dripping has also stopped. Hot diggity!

I also got to see my nephew, the Cutest Baby in the World, one of the first weekends in March. My sister brought him to the east coast to see the entire family and they stayed at my parent's house for a week. He is getting so big, I can't stand it. He's also smiling now which makes me want to cry it's so adorable.

Me and the little guy.

Smiling for his aunt Sue :)

Well, it's probably time to hit the hay and freak out for three hours before I fall asleep, and then hit my interview with a breath of fire. Hopefully I'll update this sooner than a month from now!

busy, not unlike a bee

It has come to this. I am so busy with schoolwork when I'm not in class that I've taken to updating this blog while in class. I don't have much to say, except that I've been applying for summer internships like a crazy woman and I've got two midterms coming up, as well as papers due and somewhere during all of this I am supposed to find a damn dress for Barrister's Ball. I think it's safe to say that was a really grammatically incorrect sentence.

So next weekend I'm heading to Utica to see my little nephew and my family. I'm super-psyched even though it means I have to kill myself doing work this week to be able to make it. I don't even mind though because the way I look at it, I will not have that many opportunities to see him because my sister and her husband and the little guy live in California. I live in Maryland and I am not exactly brimming with time and money to be flying out to the west coast, as much as I would love to be. I wish this country would get on the high-speed rail train. Ha, ha, I am cracking myself up today.

Barrister's Ball is April 9, and tickets go on sale next week. Come hell or high water, I WILL get tickets this year. Last year I did not realize that apparently Barrister's Ball is the most important event of every single law school student's year, and everyone buys their ticket at approximately 12:01 pm on the date they go on sale. They sold out practically instantly. We will be driving back from Utica on Monday so I'm a little worried, but my friend Sarah said that if I give her the money she will buy us tickets during the first block of time. I just have to talk that over with Zach and then I am sure it will be a go. I want to go SO bad and I've been lusting after dresses on Nordstrom Rack dot com during this class, especially this lovely:

I don't mean to sound full of myself, but I look really good in greenish blues, and I just think it looks super flattering and comfortable. I'm weird about buying things online though, just because I always feel the need to try things on and make sure they look absolutely perfect before I buy them. I am very particular about fit and such. I'm going to go to Nordstrom Rack in the Towson mall possibly next weekend to find out if they have it, and if not I'm sure I will find something else. Still, it's only 69 bucks and it comes in my size. We'll have to see.

I watched the Oscars last night while doing Professional Responsibility homework, so my memory of it was peppered with random rules about conflicts of interest while representing organizations. Sad to say that my memory is probably more enjoyable than the memory of someone who watched the entire thing by itself. Okay, Anne Hathaway actually tried. She gave it her damn-near all, and was almost annoyingly bubbly and smiley. I can't fault her for that. Franco, on the other hand...feh. He was totally checked out, and really un-funny. I don't know if he thought he was way too cool (in which case, come to my neighborhood and hang out with all the goddamn hipsters) or too high (which I would normally not care about but come on, man! It's the Oscars!). I was happy that Toy Story 3 won for best animated, but if I am to be perfectly honest, I haven't seen a single other movie that was nominated for an Oscar. I really want to see them all (except The Social Network. I just can't get into the idea of that movie) and after last night, I put all of 'em on my Netflix queue for when they come out on DVD.

All right, this is getting rambly. I just wish the weather would improve.

hippie water

The bottle of water I just bought from the vending machine is claiming that by purchasing it, I just gave 10 cents to a local charity protecting the environment. This is all well and good but I have my suspicions. Why, I'm sure you could get hipsters to buy anything that claims that part of its profits have gone to charity or some such thing. Where's the evidence, hmm, hippie water company?

Anyway, this week is going to be ridiculously busy if I want to go home next weekend to see The World's Cutest Baby (and the rest of my family). I have to apply for about fifty million internships by March 1, do a ton of general schoolwork, finish a draft of a paper and start another paper. Happy days are here again. I was pretty freaked out about all of it last night and couldn't sleep (while next to me, a Nyquil-zonked Zach slept soundly) but when I woke up this morning I felt totally renewed and like I could take it all on easily. I don't know, maybe it's the hippie water.

I'm applying for so many internships because I figure the more I apply for, the better chances of getting a call back from at least one of the places. I'm applying for ones in Baltimore and D.C. that I can semi-easily reach via public transportation because Zach owns the car and will probably be using it for his own purposes. Either that or we could set up some weird carpooling schedule, but either way I'm going to be waking up very early in the summertime.

We got new windows! I don't remember if I mentioned that in the last entry or not because my brain is frankly, fried but they are glorious. I also haven't been linking to recipes lately like I said I would so here's some things I've made lately:

Baked Pasta with Chicken Sausage. I liked this okay but Zach did not, mostly because of the tomato chunks. I'd give it a 6.

Pork Chops in the Slow Cooker. THIS was delicious, and so easy! That crock pot is becoming the best thirty dollars I've ever spent.

Perfect Popcorn. I know, popcorn? Who needs a recipe for popcorn? Well apparently I did, because every time I made it on the stove top I always burnt the bottom of the pan and it was just gross. Alton's method changed my life. Using a big aluminum bowl and covering it with foil made PERFECT popcorn, for realsies. So tasty and almost every single kernel popped.

Stuffed Peppers. I had never had stuffed peppers before, and neither had Zach, so we were slightly skeptical of these but they were very tasty and quite easy to make. This also solidified Bethenny as my very favorite NY Real Housewife.

sick boyfriend, sore shins.

My poor boyfriend is ill. This happens at least once a semester; he comes down with a debilitating cold for about three days and is totally miserable the entire time, and then goes back to being perfectly healthy.  Right now he is snuggled up on the couch with the heating pad, a cup of tea and a big blanket and I am stuck in here doing homework blogging. I keep trying to get him to drink lots of liquids because for some reason I am fixated on the idea that lots of liquids = get healthy faster, which I'm pretty sure is residual of what my mom did when we were sick as kids.

I should be doing my reading for administrative law, but I'm far too busy looking at cute bikinis on Victorias Secret dot com and thinking that if I do go to the gym at least three or four times a week from now until summer, I will purchase one of those bikinis (I really want THIS one, but in the hot pink color) and wear it out and about on the beach and whatnot. Unfortunately, I had to skip the gym tonight because I ran last night and as a result my shins are screaming in pain and have been all day. I forgot why I hate running. It's not because I get winded too easily (which I do, but that's just because I'm grossly out of shape), it's because my shins apparently don't enjoy it. That's generally why I stick to the elliptical, but last night the gym was ridiculously busy and all were taken.

We are getting new windows in our apartment tomorrow! Our building is pretty old and our windows pretty much blow, they are drafty and rattle and just ugh. So we complained to the leasing office a couple of weeks ago and because our building manager is just the best (I'm not being sarcastic, he's great) the window installers are coming here tomorrow to install brand spanking new windows in our apartment. Very exciting. The windows right now are also ridiculously hard to open without breaking your fingers, so hopefully the new ones will be better in that respect as well. Tonight we have to do some furniture rearranging, though, because the workers need a clear path to the windows and right now our mattress and an end table are in the way. Because Zach is sickly, I'll probably end up doing most of the rearranging myself. Which is fine, because I have been lifting weights at the gym and am now probably grossly overestimating my strength.

PSA: This salsa is the most amazing thing I've ever tasted, and I do not mess around with salsa. It's my favorite snack accompaniment and I am quite discerning, or at least I like to think so. It's all I can do to not eat the entire jar in one sitting. Currently, an unopened jar sits in my refrigerator, mocking me with its tastiness.  Sidenote: I almost always spell refrigerator incorrectly. I'm convinced there should be a 'd' in there.

baked potatoes for lunch.

Imagine my surprise when I got a postcard in the mail from my close personal friends the Obama family, wishing me a happy new year!

Really, though, I donated to Obama's campaign back in aught eight and since then I have received the odd thing in the mail, to make it seem like he really appreciated that fifteen dollars. I think it's really kind of funny and I plan on sticking this up on my fridge once I get some magnets, which my uber-conservative Bill O'Reilly-watching father will just love. 


Today, I came home with an inexplicable craving for a baked potato. Zach and I only have one class on Tuesdays from 10:30 - 11:45, and then it's free all day. I knew I had potatoes, so I came on home and threw one in the oven. It was delicious. Man, my blog is just chock-full of interesting stories and events, isn't it? I'd be better off if I had kept up with that story about the Obamas being my close personal friends.

This blog is not interesting. I don't really lead an interesting life. The majority of the blogs I read are 'mommy/daddy' blogs about people with children. This is weird to me, considering I don't particularly want children and the only little one I really love is my nephew, John. He's the cutest, smartest baby in the world, don't you know? Anyway, it's really strange to me that I enjoy the blogs of parents so much. I have almost nothing in common with any of them except for the fact that I have changed a diaper in my life, and yet I find myself reading pages and pages of blogs like Dooce, Mimi Smartypants, Daddy Scratches and Kelle Hampton. I have no explanation for this.

I might be getting a little internship soon. I'm nervous. I don't want to say too many details just in case it doesn't pan out, but I'm looking forward to it.

I don't really know how to end this blog, so here's a picture of O.J. Simpson offering up some Christmas ham.